Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize