Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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