There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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