I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
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And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
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Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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