Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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