in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
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Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
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When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
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