ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
