Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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