is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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