oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
