i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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