Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
