He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
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