i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
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smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
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She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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