The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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