I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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