Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
did i just pee glitter
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize