We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
