I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize