If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
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