I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
