That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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