so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
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I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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