I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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