if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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