dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize