My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
