Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
