So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize