Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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