Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize