woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize