if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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