I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?