it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.