you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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