butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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