All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe