I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it