My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back