Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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