Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
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She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
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In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.