@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole