Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing