Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
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chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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