I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
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You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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