when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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