And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
