We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
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They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
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I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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