so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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