You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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