I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
