I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
