Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
