legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i think im in europe. pls send help
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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